Monday, April 17, 2006

 

Happy Endings

So.. first of all. If your reading this, and you have not read my previous post entitled heroes and responded, then you need to go and do that first. Go ahead... I'll wait.

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You back? Good. Now I'm actually going to get to the point here in a roundabout way, so bear with me.

Depression is a big thing in this world. People don't feel they do enough. People are disappoint in the amount of difference they make in the world. They feel that they could be doing more. They feel that the little they do is not enough.

In my experience, the majority of people think of themselves as failures. Or at least, not the successes they could have been/be.

They look at what they have done/are doing with their lives and they think... If only I could do more. If only I could BE more. If only I was making a REAL difference.

I may be wrong, but I think this is the attitude of many, many people these days. Even if they don't admit it.

Now I'm going to point my finger. I'm going to lay the blame on someone for this. Its our fault. Each and every one of us. But its not quite that simple. See its INDIRECTLY our fault. The mechanise I wish to blame for this is popular culture. The books we read. The movies we watch. Hollywood. And the Hollywood Effect. We have come to see (And now you see, I come back to my original point) heroes (and by that I mean these fictitious hero's not real hero's.. more later) as the kind of people we are aiming to be.

We want to be Luke Skywalker, Triumphing over both his own doubts and fears, and his enemies.
James Bond, who gets the bad guy, all the girls and saves the day. (Not necessarily in that order), or Neo, gaining a complete understanding of the truths of the world, and saving those he loved.

We want a happy ending.

Fictitious Hero's always get happy endings. BOCTAOE (But of course there are obvious exceptions) They have a destiny out there waiting to be fulfilled. They have a place that their life is going and the story will (eventually) take it there.

The real world is not like that. Out here in the real world there are no “real” heroes. No heroes who can obtain happy endings.

Mother Teresa would look back on all she did, and think of all those she failed to save.
Martin Luther would look at the people he was unable to convince, and despair.
Winston Churchill would look at all those that had to die to stop the Third Reich and be convinced there should have been a better way.

We don't get, and cant expect happy endings. What we need to expect, plan for and live with is at best almost happy middles.

Comments:
I saw the movie V for Vendetta today and it did make my mind boggle a bit about heros and stuff but more than that it made me think about the other people involved. The normal/ regular people who made a difference. One thing that the movie pointed out to me is that while sometimes people need a push at times, people can and do do the most amazing things. Like the guy in Tienamen Square who stood in front of those tanks in an attempt to stop what was happening- we dont know who he is/ was but what an amazing thing to do. I am not arguing about the effects of Hollywood or media, I think they do have an immense effect on how we percieve heroes. I just think that in real life the heroes are often the ones behind the scenes- like Desmond Tutu and Quyen (Winnie) Mandela.

Also as an aside- I think it is very interesting how we (or countries) have national heroes- which again are different- look at Ned Kelly, Jesse James, General Custer, Captain Cook- my point is that we (as nations)idolise these men who essentially were criminals and murderers- it is just an aside point
 
One other thing that I forgot to mention/ comment on was the stuff about heroes not necessarily seeing what they have done but looking at what still needs to be done or at the things they have failed to do- I think this is a common trait of real life heroes rather than 'Hollywood' heroes who know how fantastic they are and see what they have done.
 
I like what you have said Matt, I heartily agree.
I have one point of differenc though. I think we have more to hope for than happy middles. When you realise that the James bonds and Luke skywalkers arent real, you can set a real 'upper bound' which I think is actually achieveable by mere mortals such as us. So, supporting a starving child in Africa, visiting a friend in hospital, putting a smile on someones face, or being loving in the face of difficulty (to name a few things that just came to mind) are ways that we can enjoy a more than happy middle life. I think it is just as you have said, that in our hollywood effect lives we dont understand what the reality of life is. If we are constantly comparing out lives to these people we will be disappointed. If we copmare them to reality, we may be much more happy with our lot.
 
To be clear, please presuppose that everything here is prefixed with the words "in my opinion."

I think maybe your focus is on the wrong thing.

I mean, people can make a difference. People do make a difference, everyday in what would generally be perceived as 'small' ways, in the only ways one can make a difference, that is in the way you deal with the everyday things, the way you treat the people you interact with everyday.

But, at the same time, people shouldn't be complacent. People should strive to make those differences, should be aware that everything they do makes a difference. They should feel bad when they do something wrong.

But they should feel good when they do something right.

I understand your point about happy middles, not happy endings. And to a certain extent I agree with you: it should be about happiness with what you have now, not about happiness 'one day'. And one shouldn't expect happiness; you have to make it.

I would ask that you define exactly what you mean by popular culture. Especially since the kind of attitude you're talking about far pre-date this century so in general terms we need to deal with popular culture as it existed over a long period of time. Making Shakespeare's plays popular culture. Including Hamlet. However...

I don't think you can blame popular culture for our unrealistic expectations. I think people already have those expectations, already hope that life does work that way and are therefore predisposed to believe such things. Besides, what examples there are in pop culture of the triumphant hero who always gets his/her happy ending makes up only a part, and is usually that which fails to catch the imagination. Most romantic comedies fall into the unrealistic happy ending category, and most people ridicule them. Even those who watch them and enjoy them will generally deny it in public. Plus, those movies that exemplify such things tend towards two dimensional characters and an overall lack of depth in narrative or theme (to agree with Talen).

There are, however, plenty of examples of films that don't glorify such a lifestyle. The Matrix trilogy, for example (though not a fan of the series myself), doesn't: sure they triumph over extreme odds but with enormous losses and much implication that it will happen all over again. That does (almost) reflect "real" life, at least thematically.

The same goes for literature. Most texts, whether considered popular culture or not, deal with characters trying to find a place in the world. They have no destiny written for them. They have no proscribed happy ending. They find their own way, through struggle and adversity. And any happy ending isn't an ending for the characters. Our ending is their happy middle.
 
Stoobie:

I'm not talking middles as in levels of achievement. I'm talking middles as oposed to endings. I'm talking about the fact that at any point in our life, it's not going to be sewn up into a nice neat bundle where we can say we have acchieved all our desires. Were never going to reach a point of a happy ending, because our lives will ALWAYS be sooo much more complex than that.

Yes, we can set reasonable goals. We can achieve them. We can make a difference. We do, however, find ourselves wanting more. We dont want to just comfort a grieving friend. We want to "Fix" them. We want to make the problem go away, not ease the pain. We are always going to desire to achieve more than just the reasonable amount. I guess this is the "culture" (Wrong word perhaps.. it has too many conotations) that i'm talking about.

Am I projecting? Is this something that just I do? If you do this too, please speak up, let me know i'm not alone here...

If I am right, we (If not, then I guess thats just an I) need to be constantly aware of this prevelition to do too much. We need to be fighting our own nature, in order to realise we ARE doing worthwile things, even if it is not fixing all our friends problems. Or curing cancer. (Heck even if it IS curing cancer)

Did that make any more sence?
 
LL:

You talk about films that dont glorify that culture, then use the matrix as an example. Yes, to some extent, the story is left hanging. Life goes on.

But neo's journey is finished. His character development is over. the flaws in his character (which only existed so he could get over them anyway) are gone. He got the girl. His life may not be perfect, but its pretty darn close (i mean comeon, godlike power)

And don't get me wrong, there are some movies that do this very well. They just generally dont come out of hollywood. Theres no margin in a non-appy-ending. Watch the end of swordfish some time, then watch the alternate endings. Then listen to the comentry about why they chose the one they did.

As for your comments on literature, yes, the character is (much like us) seeking their happy ending. And they find it. This is my point. They find a solution that closes the book. Ends the story. There problems are all gone. they havent had new ones come up in the last ten pages that arent resolved and overlap the solving of others. they haven't partially fixed things. (Unless theres another book coming...)

I dunno, if i'm makeing things clearer or muddier, so i think i'll stop here...
 
Matt, you seem to have missed the point I was trying to make. Two-thirds of it is what Talen just said. The other third is that the majority of narrative-based art, regardless of form, reflects life. Even here a happy ending is qualified, involves the change of priorities and expectations so that they can be met. A story may have a 'happy ending' but it isn't the happy ending that the characters expected. Neo's flaws weren't completely overcome; they were overcome enough for him to do what needed to be done, during which process he died. He didn't get his happy ever after. She was dead, he was dead, most of the character were dead, and the implication of the final scene of the movie is that it is only a termporary fix because people want to escape reality. I think perhaps it is this longing that makes people see a happy ending where there isn't one, necessarily.

I totally hear you about people having unrealistic expectations, as I said before. But 'Hollywood' doesn't cause them. It echoes them and reinforces them, but it doesn't cause them.
 
I was procrastinating and looking at
your blog. The comments has reminded me culture is subjective, we all will see the same film differently (and its a sidebar to the posts point). Thinking about Romantic Comedy's, though we don't see them as real, but people still want even crave, the happy ending the film shows us.

But I can't help but think, that Hollywood is part of a circle. They make films that sell, and films sell because we like them, we like them, so Hollywood makes more.

To bring it back to you commenters it makes sense to say that our expectations are created, and reinforced and echoed by popular literature and culture.
 
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