Thursday, May 05, 2005
Depression
My Brother sent me an interesting article . And by interesting I mean incredibly scary.
Let me start off by saying I'm being unfair. The guy who wrote this did try to encase his message in an inoffensive way. He did try to seem reasonable. But his claims are quite offensive, at least to my mind, to those actually suffering from a medical illness.
I have a number of friends with Depression, chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and the like. Medical conditions that even a number of doctors refuse to believe are real. Imagine what it feels like to have a doctor tell you your imagining the whole situation. Imagine being told that your perfectly healthy, that nothing is wrong with you when you have trouble waking up before noon no matter what you did the night before. Even if there right (And I don't believe they are) Even if there is an aspect of truth in what they say, I find the article linked, and the attitudes of many people to sufferers of these kinds of sickness scary. Yes some people will use a medical diagnosis as an excuse for their behavior. Does that mean I can excuse any actions I make under the umbrella of "I was tired" or "I had the flu?". Its not about an excuse. Its about an explanation. And if you take away the explanation then the only option left is that it must be all their fault.
Its the exact reverse of what this article proclaims. Its liberating to have an excuse for all your actions. Consequently its debilitating to have that excuse denied to you. If someone genuinely is sick.. you don't do something like that to them.
By contrast I'm sure that there are cases where people believe they are sick, but really aren't. There are times when his point is a valid one. But its certianly not fair to make it as a blanked statement.
What's my point? I don't know. But reading that article made me want to vent something. Show some compassion and concern! Unless you are infallible and KNOW the truth of a matter at least consider that the other side might be right, and think about the effects of what you say if they are.
Am I being hypocritical here? Not giving his position a fair go? Probarbly. I'm trying not to. I have given a lot of thought to BOTH sides in this debate. But everyone has some bias. All we can do is try to control it.
Addition - May 8 - 9:00 am
My brother has posted his thoughs on this too. Far more eloquently than me :p
Let me start off by saying I'm being unfair. The guy who wrote this did try to encase his message in an inoffensive way. He did try to seem reasonable. But his claims are quite offensive, at least to my mind, to those actually suffering from a medical illness.
I have a number of friends with Depression, chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and the like. Medical conditions that even a number of doctors refuse to believe are real. Imagine what it feels like to have a doctor tell you your imagining the whole situation. Imagine being told that your perfectly healthy, that nothing is wrong with you when you have trouble waking up before noon no matter what you did the night before. Even if there right (And I don't believe they are) Even if there is an aspect of truth in what they say, I find the article linked, and the attitudes of many people to sufferers of these kinds of sickness scary. Yes some people will use a medical diagnosis as an excuse for their behavior. Does that mean I can excuse any actions I make under the umbrella of "I was tired" or "I had the flu?". Its not about an excuse. Its about an explanation. And if you take away the explanation then the only option left is that it must be all their fault.
Its the exact reverse of what this article proclaims. Its liberating to have an excuse for all your actions. Consequently its debilitating to have that excuse denied to you. If someone genuinely is sick.. you don't do something like that to them.
By contrast I'm sure that there are cases where people believe they are sick, but really aren't. There are times when his point is a valid one. But its certianly not fair to make it as a blanked statement.
What's my point? I don't know. But reading that article made me want to vent something. Show some compassion and concern! Unless you are infallible and KNOW the truth of a matter at least consider that the other side might be right, and think about the effects of what you say if they are.
Am I being hypocritical here? Not giving his position a fair go? Probarbly. I'm trying not to. I have given a lot of thought to BOTH sides in this debate. But everyone has some bias. All we can do is try to control it.
Addition - May 8 - 9:00 am
My brother has posted his thoughs on this too. Far more eloquently than me :p
# posted by ChinDoGu @ 19:55 
Comments:
<< Home
An excuse is a really bad word for it.
Having an excuse is liberating. It removes from you responsibility - you no longer have to worry about it because it's not your fault. At its extremes, an excuse even keeps you from doing anything about the problem.
Having an excuse is liberating. It removes from you responsibility - you no longer have to worry about it because it's not your fault. At its extremes, an excuse even keeps you from doing anything about the problem.
# posted by 
: Thursday, May 05, 2005 9:57:00 pm
: Thursday, May 05, 2005 9:57:00 pm
Perhaps 'reason' is a better word. When you are stuck in the vicious cycle of depression and anxiety, it is a great comfort to have someone tell you there is a reason behind it. It's heartening to know that other people have had the same experience, and have found their way out of it. It's a relief to know that it's not just because you have a bad personality, or 'issues'. And above all, knowing the reason behind these feelings gives you the hope that you can get better.
I was using the word excuse, as I felt it better conveyed what the author of the origional article was tring to say.. he found it liberating to have an excuse for his actions. For him it wasnt a reason, it was an excuse. I dont think it is right to call it an excuse, indeed, reason is a far better word. I was just trying to evoke the thoughts from the origional article.
Even though I didnt have time to read the whole thing, from having read the opening few paragraphs, in one way I kind of agree with the guy, in that people can tend to try to use these type things as excuses for their behaviour "Oh I was mean because i have..." On the other hand, I think that we need to be loving and understanding. We cant let our perception that we have this or that cripple our ability to live in, and contribute to, the world.
As for myself, people have told me that I have depression. I dont know if i really do or not to be honest. I dont have to take medication or anything. It is mostly me just thinking my way into a depressed like state. Usually in regards to heartbreak. But everyone gets upset about things like that. Maybe I am just a little too hard on myself, doubt myself and need to work on developing a healthy self-esteem.
I guess my point is that you can think 'oh well, I have such and such, and so I could never do this, or be that.' When really the ability and everything is there, just a little encouragement and believing in self is required.
Sometimes however, the illnesses are real and nasty. There are many people out there with real mental illnesses and need to take medication to be able to get by day to day. All the people i know who have illnesses like this have gone to the doctor, got some medication and are determined to give life the best go. They dont sit around doing nothing saying "If only I didnt have this illness then..." (I am not saying many people do this, but it is a temptation).
I guess my point in this whole thing is that whether the illness is real or not, it is clear that the person is having a problem of some kind and it is extremely important to be loving and compassionate as Matt has said and 'bear each others burdens'.
I'm not sure if all that made much sense but it is the problem with writing things at work.
As for myself, people have told me that I have depression. I dont know if i really do or not to be honest. I dont have to take medication or anything. It is mostly me just thinking my way into a depressed like state. Usually in regards to heartbreak. But everyone gets upset about things like that. Maybe I am just a little too hard on myself, doubt myself and need to work on developing a healthy self-esteem.
I guess my point is that you can think 'oh well, I have such and such, and so I could never do this, or be that.' When really the ability and everything is there, just a little encouragement and believing in self is required.
Sometimes however, the illnesses are real and nasty. There are many people out there with real mental illnesses and need to take medication to be able to get by day to day. All the people i know who have illnesses like this have gone to the doctor, got some medication and are determined to give life the best go. They dont sit around doing nothing saying "If only I didnt have this illness then..." (I am not saying many people do this, but it is a temptation).
I guess my point in this whole thing is that whether the illness is real or not, it is clear that the person is having a problem of some kind and it is extremely important to be loving and compassionate as Matt has said and 'bear each others burdens'.
I'm not sure if all that made much sense but it is the problem with writing things at work.
I've had a long lasting dance with depression since I was fifteen. That's ten years of me feeling worthless and paralysed by anxiety and fear on and off. It has been exceedingly unpleasant.
However.
Things will not change if you don't attempt to truly make an effort. Thus, an excuse is formed from laziness and not having to move outside your comfort zone.
Depression and anxiety disorders aren't things to be dismissed out of hand. They are however not something to be coddled and pitied. That will not fix them - I would imagine in a lot of cases it will only perpetuate the behaviour. Sometimes what is needed is a good slap upside the head - metaphorically speaking. (That particular method worked for me, thank you God, thank you Aya.)
I also think the term excuse was incorrect. To make an excuse is seeking deniability for one's actions. Which is what today's society appears to be. No one wants to have accountability of self. Everyone else has to look out for you apart from you.
Good work Matt. You've certainly got conversations started. ;)
However.
Things will not change if you don't attempt to truly make an effort. Thus, an excuse is formed from laziness and not having to move outside your comfort zone.
Depression and anxiety disorders aren't things to be dismissed out of hand. They are however not something to be coddled and pitied. That will not fix them - I would imagine in a lot of cases it will only perpetuate the behaviour. Sometimes what is needed is a good slap upside the head - metaphorically speaking. (That particular method worked for me, thank you God, thank you Aya.)
I also think the term excuse was incorrect. To make an excuse is seeking deniability for one's actions. Which is what today's society appears to be. No one wants to have accountability of self. Everyone else has to look out for you apart from you.
Good work Matt. You've certainly got conversations started. ;)
I agree with Sal in that issues such as depression and anxiety are not to be dizsmissed out of hand- I have seen both sides of the matter though in the ways that people respond to their own illness (Yes I say illness because that is what I believe they are) but I do believe it is easier for some people to use it as an EXCUSE for their behaviour. This may sound harsh but I have experienced this with family members. On the other side of the spectrum with other friends and family members and have seen the struggle they faced (and still do)but they do struggle- it is a constant battle but they are trying. I have not expressed myself very clearly- sorry if anything I have written is offensive.
Post a Comment
# posted by : Monday, May 16, 2005 8:02:00 pm
: Monday, May 16, 2005 8:02:00 pm << Home
