Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Arrogance
I have a problem. I have quite low self-confidence. This makes me incredibly arrogant. I'm guessing that does not make sense to a lot of you, so let me try to explain what I mean.
In spite of my low self-confidence, there are some things I do so well that I cant really deny I'm good at them. For example, during my uni days, I was “that good” at computer programming. Since, as far as my mind is concerned, I fail horribly at everything else, By comparison, my skills in these areas are amazing. Consequently, I become very arrogant about my abilities in these areas, complacent, and inevitably set myself up for a fall.
I never worked hard at computers while I was at uni, and I still got through the course. But now trying to use the skills I was meant to be developing at uni, in my job, I feel inadequate and unconfident. Somewhere along the way it became harder, beyond my abilities, and my arrogance prevented me from noticing or doing anything about it.
What's my point here? Low Self-Confidence and arrogance are linked. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if this is the way many people with low self confidence react. They find an area in which they feel they do do well, and focus their self-image on it.
Where did all this come from? I was reading Mere Christianity (C. S. Lewis) (Book 2, Chapter 8 – The Great Sin) It speaks of how pride(arrogance) is a competitive sin. Its not about being good, its about being better than someone else. I've always prided myself on the fact that I don't care how I measure up against others. I just be me, and that is enough. This is so easy for me, because I do have such low self-confidence, that I even don't care what I think of me. This has become for me such an area of pride, that I began to look down on others for not being able to do it.
So which of the two am I? I don't know. I hope. I desperately hope, that my reasons are not a disdain for others as expressed in the later option, but an understanding that gods will matters so much more. But If I'm being honest (Which I'm trying to do on this blog) I have to say that I think its a combination of the two.
Guess that's another thing I'll have to work on.
In spite of my low self-confidence, there are some things I do so well that I cant really deny I'm good at them. For example, during my uni days, I was “that good” at computer programming. Since, as far as my mind is concerned, I fail horribly at everything else, By comparison, my skills in these areas are amazing. Consequently, I become very arrogant about my abilities in these areas, complacent, and inevitably set myself up for a fall.
I never worked hard at computers while I was at uni, and I still got through the course. But now trying to use the skills I was meant to be developing at uni, in my job, I feel inadequate and unconfident. Somewhere along the way it became harder, beyond my abilities, and my arrogance prevented me from noticing or doing anything about it.
What's my point here? Low Self-Confidence and arrogance are linked. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if this is the way many people with low self confidence react. They find an area in which they feel they do do well, and focus their self-image on it.
Where did all this come from? I was reading Mere Christianity (C. S. Lewis) (Book 2, Chapter 8 – The Great Sin) It speaks of how pride(arrogance) is a competitive sin. Its not about being good, its about being better than someone else. I've always prided myself on the fact that I don't care how I measure up against others. I just be me, and that is enough. This is so easy for me, because I do have such low self-confidence, that I even don't care what I think of me. This has become for me such an area of pride, that I began to look down on others for not being able to do it.
“The real black, diabolical pride, comes when you look down on others so much that you do not care what they think of you. Of Course, it is very right, and often our duty, not to care what people think of us, if we do so for the right reasons; namely, because we care so incomparably more what god thinks. But the Proud man has a different reason for not caring. He says 'Why should I care for the applause of that rabble as if their opinions were of value, am I the sort of man to blush with pleasure at a compliment like some chit of a girl at her first dance? No, I am an integrated, adult personality. All I have done has been done to satisfy my own Ideals—or my artistic conscience—or the traditions of my family—or, in a word, because I'm Than Kind of Chap. If the mob like it, let them. They're nothing to me.'
So which of the two am I? I don't know. I hope. I desperately hope, that my reasons are not a disdain for others as expressed in the later option, but an understanding that gods will matters so much more. But If I'm being honest (Which I'm trying to do on this blog) I have to say that I think its a combination of the two.
Guess that's another thing I'll have to work on.
# posted by ChinDoGu @ 18:31 
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I too have extremely low self confidence but I dont think I am arrogant- I am not sure- I wouldnt assume I am good enough at things to be arrogant- I used to think I was particularly talented at teaching but am being reminded constantly that I am a mere rookie and that there are so many people better than me. I have spent almost my whole life battling my feelings of other peoples opinions of myself- telling myself "I dont care" but truth be told- I do and continue to battle with it despite knowing that God has made me and loves me.
# posted by 
: Tuesday, May 17, 2005 6:59:00 pm
: Tuesday, May 17, 2005 6:59:00 pm
I had something amazing and (of course) witty to say. Now I can't remember, or maybe I do. :D
I think it's important to have some level of "arrogance" in our abilities, so that when little challenges come up, we're not too scared to take a stab at them. However, I think the most important thing is that we remember that we're not perfect, (somehow that's a more positive way of saying we're flawed to me) and while we may be great at certain things, there are always times when we're not going to be able to get something done. We shouldn't be disheartened by that though I think, instead take joy in knowing despite that we're loved by God for who and what we are, but also that doesn't mean we should try in the first place.
The whole "God helps those, who help themselves." dealy.
I think it's important to have some level of "arrogance" in our abilities, so that when little challenges come up, we're not too scared to take a stab at them. However, I think the most important thing is that we remember that we're not perfect, (somehow that's a more positive way of saying we're flawed to me) and while we may be great at certain things, there are always times when we're not going to be able to get something done. We shouldn't be disheartened by that though I think, instead take joy in knowing despite that we're loved by God for who and what we are, but also that doesn't mean we should try in the first place.
The whole "God helps those, who help themselves." dealy.
I think an important distinction is between confidence and arrogance. I am not exactly sure of a definition so i will just have a go and people can disagree if they want.
Confidence is knowing that you are good at something. Arrogance is thinking you are so good at something you cant do it wrong.
Confidence is a great thing to be working towards as a low self esteem person. Arrogance is something to steer away from though and sometimes it's hard to see the difference between the two.
Confidence is knowing that you are good at something. Arrogance is thinking you are so good at something you cant do it wrong.
Confidence is a great thing to be working towards as a low self esteem person. Arrogance is something to steer away from though and sometimes it's hard to see the difference between the two.
mm.. Hard to differentiate, these 2 things are. Look into our motivations for acceptance and rejection of new information we must.
Perhaps Arrogrance feeds confidence - and - confidence feeds arrogance. Something to be careful of.
I guess its one of the things I found hard while I was preaching is that with every person who came up after I preached my sermon and said it was "good", you start to think, wow I can do this on my own bat, and with less prepartion.. see you now trust your "abilities" not prayer and preparation.
Just a few thoughts.. (written in haste, given time later on, I hope to extend these to some reflections for my blog).
I guess its one of the things I found hard while I was preaching is that with every person who came up after I preached my sermon and said it was "good", you start to think, wow I can do this on my own bat, and with less prepartion.. see you now trust your "abilities" not prayer and preparation.
Just a few thoughts.. (written in haste, given time later on, I hope to extend these to some reflections for my blog).
Just a thought im scrawling down, I reserve the right to disagree with myself later if I decide im wrong.
Initially I wanted to say that the line between confidence and arrogance is a thin one. that it is measured by sucess. But thats not true. You can be sucessfull and quietly confident. You can be sucessfull and noisily arrogant.
Arrogance IS confidence. But it is confidence taken too far. It is confidence without humility, confidence without concern for others. Confidence tainted by sin.
A little Pride is necessary. Without it, we would never do a job properly. But thats pride in a job well done, not pride in our ability to do it better than others.
I think the question is not are we confident/arrogant/proud. Its from where does this c/a/p stem. Are we gloating over our abilities.. Is it a compeditive thing, Look how much better at X I am than everyone else. Or are we just happy that weve done a good job. That weve done our best.
With that distinction, I can definatly say im farrrrrr too arrogant. The only time I feel like I succeed at anything is when I do it better than I suspect others could. I dont see just doing a good job as worthwile. If anyone could have done it, then I havent done anything special.
If the key to the emotion is a comparison to others, then its the bad one
Initially I wanted to say that the line between confidence and arrogance is a thin one. that it is measured by sucess. But thats not true. You can be sucessfull and quietly confident. You can be sucessfull and noisily arrogant.
Arrogance IS confidence. But it is confidence taken too far. It is confidence without humility, confidence without concern for others. Confidence tainted by sin.
A little Pride is necessary. Without it, we would never do a job properly. But thats pride in a job well done, not pride in our ability to do it better than others.
I think the question is not are we confident/arrogant/proud. Its from where does this c/a/p stem. Are we gloating over our abilities.. Is it a compeditive thing, Look how much better at X I am than everyone else. Or are we just happy that weve done a good job. That weve done our best.
With that distinction, I can definatly say im farrrrrr too arrogant. The only time I feel like I succeed at anything is when I do it better than I suspect others could. I dont see just doing a good job as worthwile. If anyone could have done it, then I havent done anything special.
If the key to the emotion is a comparison to others, then its the bad one
Yeah, thats a good point
There is nothing wrong with having a degree of pride, or a sense of acheivement.
But its when that defines either who we relate to, or how we relate to people its a problematic thing. If that makes sense?
There is nothing wrong with having a degree of pride, or a sense of acheivement.
But its when that defines either who we relate to, or how we relate to people its a problematic thing. If that makes sense?
By that definition I am the latter of the two, by a fair measure. Interesting, considering how much i value my pride (it has helped me through some very dificult patches). I think Pride can be useful, espically in one area, and it can make up for a lack of confidence in others, though that said, useful is not the same as healthy.
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# posted by : Wednesday, June 15, 2005 12:06:00 pm
: Wednesday, June 15, 2005 12:06:00 pm << Home
